revised essay 1
Tomorrow I have to submit my essays as final draft. Even though I turned in them to the tutor, I couldn’t get good scores because they just points out what I have to revise. I have no idea… so please help me to revise two essays.
Thesis- contract words+topic+comment
Topic sentences- topic + comment
PIE paragraph (point+informations, explains/analyses)
Quote sandwich (LEAD-IN + QUOTE + CITATION + PERIOD + 1-3 sentences analyzing the quote’s importance)
I attached information about each essay below.
My weakness: word choice, thesis, topic sentences, conc